James Hsu

Nostalgia is not just a powerful drug; it’s also a mental affliction that suggests the inability to move beyond the past.

It’s precisely because I wasn’t able to fully enjoy my 90’s teenage years that I’m excited about revisiting 90’s pop culture now.

That’s not to say my teenage years were abysmal—far from it. I’ve had my share of great memories, moments, triumphs and disappointments.

High school wasn’t the worst, but I definitely didn’t enjoy it as much as I could have.

So why do I look back so fondly on the 90’s?

Maybe I’m leaning into the “old man James” persona too hard these days; some of my younger colleagues have never even seen a tape cassette before.

Perhaps it’s the fact that we all lost our innocence about the world, post-9/11. I can still recall exactly where I was—riding a bus back home from the mall—when the planes crashed into the Twin Towers.

And I didn’t learn about what had happened until the next day!

Wherever that magnetism to past events comes from, I know it’s indelibly a part of Who I Am.

Allow me, then, to present my nostalgia exhibition.

Exhibit A: my 2024 Spotify Wrapped looks like it came straight out of 1995.

Depeche Mode’s Strangelove became my running anthem this year. The following lyrics, understandably, powered me through some tough marathons:

Pain, will you return it?
I’ll say it again: pain

I’m in the “Spotify is a net good for the world” camp. Spotify has allowed me to discover so much new music, even if their artist compensation model leaves much to be desired.

I just, nostalgically, miss the days when I had to go to the record store to test-listen to new music. Or read about them in print magazines.

It’s not as if the 90’s were marked by beautiful inconvenience; it’s just that everything now feels too sickeningly convenient to access: music, groceries, movies, feelings, discourse, et cetera.

More likely, I was a kid with way more free time at my disposal—that’s why I could indulge in experiencing things like listening to music.

Rose-colored glasses and all that.

Exhibit B: I just bought my favorite album of all time on vinyl—The Smashing Pumpkins’ Mellon Collie and the Infinite Sadness.

And I don’t even have a record player (what the fuck?). This massive “Made in Germany” box set, holding the classic double-album in its infinite glory, called out to me in the record store.

I had to pick it up.

Now, I just need to buy a turntable so I can listen to the damn thing.

Back home in Canada, I have a perfectly pristine copy of the album, on compact disc, somewhere.

I’ve lost track of how many hours I listened to this album in my high school days.

Start to finish, it truly is my definition of a perfect album. I now consider the second half superior to the first.

Exhibit C: my favorite book of the year is Quentin Tarantino’s Cinema Speculation.

To be clear, this book is not about 90’s cinema. Tarantino’s most incendiary directorial output (Reservoir Dogs, Pulp Fiction) originated in the 90’s, but that’s not what he writes about here.

Rather, Tarantino writes about the New Hollywood cinema of the 70’s. The book attracted me precisely because of the nostalgic look back into his past, and how that past has influenced his impressive body of work.

When you read the book you get the sense that Tarantino was born to analyze and make movies. That sensibility comes from a place of respect for past tradition.

As I read the book, I couldn’t help but think about how my love for movies started in the 90’s.

When my dad took me to the theaters to watch Terminator 2 for the first time.

When I couldn’t sleep for an entire week after watching a horror movie about a bogeyman under a kid’s bed.

I still can’t figure out what movie it was; I just know that it scared the shit out of me in visceral ways.

When I watched Michael Mann’s Heat for the first time on Laserdisc. The antihero of the movie, as played by Robert DeNiro, says:

“Don’t let yourself get attached to anything you are not willing to walk out on in 30 seconds flat if you feel the heat around the corner.”

What a line!

I’m too attached to the 90’s, and I’m absolutely not willing to walk out on my nostalgia in 30 seconds flat.

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How is the holiday season going for you at this time of year?

Take care of yourself and be well.

James